Because his punishment*** would’ve been worse than sleeping on the floor and sleep deprivation, and he never even progressed all the way to hitting, mostly just verbal and emotional abuse with intimidation. I was also supposed to stay awake for part of the night in case the baby woke, to not sleep even as the baby did. My (stbx) husband told me I wasn’t allowed to sleep in the bed while we had our newborn, I was to sleep on the floor or couch so i didn’t wake my husband. I don’t mean to be rude, and I don’t know your history, so i don’t mean to call you out.īut you might be surprised at what things you would obey as an abused wife. I would guess that no matter how suspicious his activities were, his wife and other kids did everything in their power to avoid his notice, let alone call him out. He knows how to hurt me: by mistreating our kids.Īll this is to say, it sounds like Fritzel was this kind of man, but with physical abuse mixed in during a time when it was acceptable to "discipline" one's wife and children. And even though we've been apart 4 years, I STILL dread enforcing boundaries and inciting his wrath. It actually took me quite some time AFTER our separation to realize how abusive the situation was. He never beat me, so there was never any kind of evidence. I felt it was my responsibility to shield our kids from the worst parts of him. I know that with my ex husband, a large part of my time at home revolved around keeping him from getting angry at me or the kids. People like this are very good at "training" those they live with to behave in certain ways, to cater to their needs, to try to anticipate what they will want before they realize it themselves, all in the hope of keeping them placated. Before long, you try to avoid bringing up ANY topic, for fear that the seemingly innocuous topic will be one that sets him off. You don't call them out on stuff because you don't want to risk them getting angry. If you've ever lived with someone who uses his anger to intimidate and threaten, you learn to adjust everything in your day to try to avoid angering that person. I think it comes down to living with Anger. I think about this a lot with wives of serial killers or serial abusers like this. Related Subs and Links: The Crime Newsroom Discord /r/UnresolvedMysteries /r/RedditCrimeCommunity /r/ColdCases Directory of Crime Subreddits Crime Custom Feed
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